Bonnie Dormant

It’s my party and I’ll die if I
want to. Yeah, yeah, they warned me about alcohol and drugs. Had all the talks
at school. But I know what I’m doing. I can handle it. And anyway, life sucks.

It’s not like the party was my idea. It was arranged ages ago. I
wouldn’t be surprised if my parents have been planning it since I was a baby.

And what’s with the guest list? All these ancient relatives – all twelve
aunties invited. I know the old dears have been good to me – the gifts, the
money, the trust fund, the endless advice. ‘We
love you Bonnie. You’re our little Princess.’ Hello, no – I’m not!

Between them and the parents I have no freedom at all. They just want to
fence me in. I can’t go anywhere or see anyone without them interfering. ‘Where have you been? You can’t go there.
You can’t do that.  You can’t wear that.
We just want to protect you.’ Yeah, right.

And what’s with the ban on Auntie Treiza? The way they talk about her –
like she’s some evil old witch. It all goes back to my christening. They say
they forgot to invite her and she got upset and they all fell out over it. But
I’m not stupid. I’ve heard them talking about her, about how she’s no good. She
got in touch on Facebook – wanted to meet me. And she’s really cool – not an
old witch at all. She’s got a great apartment and wicked stuff. She lets me
smoke and drink and she can get you any kind of gear – whatever drug you
want.  She got me to try some said they
were fun, made you feel good, said she wouldn’t
tell the parents. She’s even given me stuff for my mates – as long as
they pay me and I pay her – I can have mine for free. And they do make me feel
good – well they did – some of the time.

I just hope Mum hasn’t invited nerdy Neil to this party. Just because we
were friends in primary school – that was then. I wouldn’t be seen dead talking
to him now. If I’m not alone when he approaches I just blank him. None of my
mates know we used to be friends. God, I hope they come and he doesn’t and that
we can sneak away.

Neil knows about the drugs. He got me on my own. Told me I’d end up
dead, that I’d become like a zombie – as if I was asleep all the time. I got
really angry, told him to eff off. But no matter how much I try to avoid him,
no matter what barriers I put up, he finds a way through. He says he’s
determined to save me, knows people who can help. He says he’s my friend and I
do kinda miss him but… It’s too late now, isn’t it?

I can hear people starting to arrive downstairs. My mother calls up to
me. But I’m so tired and it all seems so pointless. I pick up the needle from
my bedside table. I lie on the bed, push the needle into a vein. As I fall
asleep, I hear Neil calling my name.